Ministry professionals who have been hurt by church or church people, please post here. Two sub-categories may emerge.
The first is for those who are currently hurting from a church-related break. Tell your story, tell your feelings.
IMPORTANT: Where do you see God in the process?
The second category is for those who are a bit more removed. It’s been a few years and you’ve recovered. What did you learn? About yourself? About God? About the church? It may take the form of advice, but please stick to your experience. What helped you. How might you have reacted differently? If it there was reconciliation, what were the biggest factors that helped. If not, what are you looking for at this point? Are you bitter? Or as bitter as you were the first year or so?
IMPORTANT: Where did you see God in the process?
In March 2008, I was hired to be the Director of Media at my church. I was so happy & so was my wife. Better hours, better pay, & doing what I love. For the first two months it was great.
Then things changed. My original boss, who understood the nature of my work, was fired & the pastor’s wife became my boss. More responsibilities came with no help or support from my boss or her husband. I was forced to attend more meetings which took up what little time I had to work so I had to start working from home & spending less time with my wife. (This is from a church that preached God first, then family, then job.) We added more services which tripled my workload with no assistance again from my boss or her husband. I would get emails from the senior pastor at 11:00 p.m. the night before service to make changes to videos which meant I stayed up all night with little or no sleep.
I remember at least three different meetings with my boss telling her I was burnt out. That increasing my workload and waiting to the last minute to make changes was not good for my health and that I need help. I even explained to her what it took to make a video and why you shouldn’t wait until the last minute to make changes. All she told me was I just need to make better use of my time and learn to organize better.
Nine months into this, I had enough and I started looking for another job. One afternoon, I was called into my boss’ office. She said she heard a rumor that I was looking for another job. I confirmed it and told her I was burned out. But until I found another job, I would still give the church 100%. She fired me on the spot.
Three years later, I work as a security guard to make ends meet. My wife hasn’t had a pay raise in four years due to the nature of her job and we have a one year old.
We go to another church now. I do feel this church will be better for us. But now I know what church politics is like and what happens behind the scenes at a church. I just can’t do it again. I cannot get involved again with a church. I just want to go on Sunday and leave. But it sucks because I know I can do work for God with my talent. However the fear of being hurt again just scares me. And I cannot put myself or my family through it again.